Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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