Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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