Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
