I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
