My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Farmville is her only friend.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
