Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
