Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
