it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
