I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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