if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
