Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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