i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I don't deserve a penis
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
