I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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