I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
