You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
