hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
