we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
