would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
