her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
