It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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