Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
