Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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