mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
