you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
