Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My legs feel like baby dolphins
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
