Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
