I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
