We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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