whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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