good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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