Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
