You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
