do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
