My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
