Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
