Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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