Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
