I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
