Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
