yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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