There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
