he wants to bone in the snuggie
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
