just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
