i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
