How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
