Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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