C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize