My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
