MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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