Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
