"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
