i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
