I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
