Can i not drive my cunt home
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
