I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
