Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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