I wish life had little blips of pornography
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
