Its about making memories worth repressing
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Randomize
